Post originally published in The Office of the Deputy Alpha Geek on 2009-08-28 11:22:40

Yeah, I know the english on the title of this post is wrong, but damn it, I’m a guy and this title is right damnit.

There was an article that posted their ideas of manly movies. They failed on mentioning movies that truly manly.

The first one is über-manly, the rest just sorta flow with it.

The Dirty Dozen

This movie is so damn manly that even if you were to have Alan Alda in it, it would still be manly enough to beat the pants off of most movies. But it doesn’t have Alan Alda, and that means that Lee Marvin, Charles Bronson, Jim Brown, Clint Walker, Trini Lopez, Donald Southerland and Tele Sevalas spend month training to kill Nazis. All of these guys, except Marvin, are deathrow to life inmates in military prison. The brass says, these guys are going to kill Nazis.

Marvin takes them, trains them and for their graduation present, gets them hookers.

Then they kill Nazis.

Badasses.

Conan: The Barbarian

It’s Conan. It’s a guy killing everything with a fucking broadsword. And getting tail in the process. Do I need to say anymore?

Robot Jox

Robot Jox was so goddamn manly that even the women looked manlier then most douchetards at the bars right now. These women were so manly that they could open a beer bottle with their ladybits. That says nothing about how manly the men were. Fighting in mecha like gladiators in the near dystopian future.

Megaforce

Deeds not words. Strong words for this rabble of the 80’s. Flying motorcycles and unitard moose knuckle. If you said a word about it, they would beat you silly.

Dirty Harry

If I have to tell you about Clint Eastwood, a .44 magnum and excessive force. I shouldn’t even need to tell you this crap.

Seven Samurai

In 1954 Akira Kurasawa came out with a movie that was so manly that it had to get remade as the Magnificent Seven. These samurai are hired out by a village to protect them from bandits. Even though these people are fuckers, they stick to their code and protect this village.

Big Trouble in Little China

Ask Jack Burton. And Jack Burton will tell you that fighting the undead Chinese boss trying to marry a green eye woman only to turn around and kill her so he can become mortal again with his three generals who are elementals isn’t manly, the he won’t know what is manly.

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Post originally published in Ed Contradictory on 2009-08-28 00:21:47

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Post originally published in The Ed Contradictory on 2009-08-21 00:07:01

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Post originally published in The Smorgasbord on 2009-08-19 05:39:23

I love how the dog is sniffing around Hobo-flash. We all know what he’s thinking don’t we? “How brittle must this man’s bones be to be able to run so fast?”

Peter, you’re friends are freaking out right now. Not sure if its because of the huge Spider-man behind you all waiting to give you a bear hug of death, or because you’re too self absorbed to notice.

Wasn’t there an Earth-2 Batman, or was he dead by this time? Are the Justice League sure they’re being crushed or are they just itchy? Why is Batman smiling on that left column? Why is Black Canary’s wig so poor? So many questions, but really isn’t it more fun not to know the real answers?

This explains so much don’t you think? Nice hooves.

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Post originally published in The Smorgasbord on 2009-08-19 05:35:57

News reaches us today of a self making bed. Yes, you read that correctly, a bed that makes itself and if you don’t believe me look at the pictures.

You see that grinning gentleman? He’s happy because he’ll never have to make his bed ever again. Ever. Again. Doesn’t that sound like a little piece of Heaven?

 Plus he can claim insurance when he breaks his shins getting in and out; his loved ones can have their mortgage paid off when a “freak” accident finds him decapitated one evening; he can then be the first person to trial a self closing coffin.

That kids, is how evolution works.

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Post originally published in Rescued By Nerds on 2009-08-08 22:18:43

Once in a while I stumble across a book that I’ve not heard a word about but something about it just stands out on the shelf. I was walking through the Sci/Fi section in Borders and I see Sandman Slim on their featured shelf and then I see the absolutely effusive praise from William Gibson and I’m very curious. The jacket description doesn’t give you much, if anything it makes this sound much closer to The Dresden Files when I would say it’s really like Joe Pitt’s little brother. Richard Kadrey writes a blisteringly cool dark fantasy urban noir that is maniacally bleak and ultra violent.

Jim Stark is a magician. Not a card trick guy but someone who really can use magic. When the book opens Stark has just found his way back from Hell to LA on a collision course for revenge against former friends who not only sent him to Hell but also killed his beloved Alice. Stark has not come back empty handed though. He has a black knife made of some sort of bone that can cut through anything and a key from Lucifer himself that Stark has hidden in his heart. This key allows Stark to jump into a shadow and then out to any location he chooses. What Kadrey does so well is gives Stark some time and the reader as well to get accustomed to what is going on. There’s a post punk tiki bar, Homeland Security, a trader of supernatural artifacts, angels, anti angels, brothels that specialize in occult creatures and an anti hero who is supremely hard to kill.

Stark is Sandman Slim, the monster who kills monsters. He’s also the coolest character to come along in a long time. I understand this is the first in a series. I am along for the ride.

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Post originally published in The Smorgasbord on 2009-08-18 07:14:42

Another quickie and once again delicious. Of course, you can add what you like to this to make it spicier, or include more vegetable goodness if you want or even some chorizo or equivalent meat. However, simple is sometimes the best.

Ingredients

• 1/2 cup of  chopped  onions
• 4 x cloves garlic, chopped
• 500ml chicken or vegetable broth
• 2 tsp chili powder
• 1 x 15oz can of black beans, rinsed, liquid removed
• 2 tbsp chopped coriander
• Rice (cooked as per normal instructions)

Method

1. Spray medium saucepan with cooking spray and heat over medium heat till warm.
2. Saute/fry onion, green onions, and garlic till tender, about 5 min.
3. Add beans and cook for 2-3 minutes
4. Add chili powder
5. Add in broth to saucepan and heat to boiling.
6. Reduce heat and simmer covered until broth reduces and is absorbed
7. Stir in coriander
8. Serve over rice
9. Dress with some coriander leaves

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Post originally published in The Ed Contradictory on 2009-08-14 00:14:05

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Post originally published in Ed Contradictory on 2009-08-07 10:03:17

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Post originally published in The Smorgasbord on 2009-08-05 08:14:18

Have you ever seen an angrier hemorrhoid? No amount of Preparation H would be able to shift that bastard.

Interesting angle. You can see the artist has a real architectural eye, picking out the twist-on-classic juxtaposition between road, pavement, buildings and 10 foot high heeled black pvc boot. Inspiring.

Ignoring the obvious narcissistic sexual connotations, because those are beneath us of course, could this be Arthur and Arthur trying their costume as King of Hearts? Nah, its definitely narcissistic and sexual in nature.

Pint Sized X-Babies 1. How can you walk past these cuties on the stand? Is your heart made of stone?

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