So, this Asgardian walks into a bar…

De-Evolution bomb? Oh, just drop it in the back garden of the Christian Right and you’ll be fine.

Thats quite some camel’s hoof Jessica.

Woody Allen? Say it ain’t so.

No crappy pleading letter for money from Mr Wally West, oh no. He uses Perez artwork to back him up.

Ingredients

• 2 to 2 1/2 lb fryers (normal sized chicken)
• 1 cup raw rice
• 1 cup butter or margarine
• 1 cup minced celery
• 1 cup minced onion
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon pepper
• 2 chicken bouillon cubes and 2 cups water (or use canned chicken broth and no water)
• 1 cup sour cream (optional)
• Paprika and parsley (optional)

Method

1. Brush chicken lightly with butter sprinkle with salt and pepper.
2. Broil slowly first with skin down – then up until lightly brown (not done)
3. Heat oven to 325 degrees F / 190 C / Gas 5
4. In skillet heat rice in º cup butter 10-15 minutes.
5. Add chopped celery, onion, salt, and pepper.
6. Dissolve bouillon cubes in warm water (or chicken broth) and pour over rice in casserole dish.
7. Place chicken skin up in the rice.
8. COVER and bake for 1 hour (or shorter depending upon how much the chicken was browned)
9. About 15 minutes before it is done, sprinkle with paprika and remove cover.

Of course nothing earth shattering but its a start…

Wait, what? Fish Police? That is amazing and hopefully based on the writings of Andre Breton.

Nice to see Ollie employing a woman as a handy shielf when he’s in battle.

I read this first as “What If Magneto Made over the USA” and it would have been so much better don’t you think?

Awww. Cuddles. That is a cuddle, right?

I am so happy with dwarf She-Hulk. Whats the betting the guy in Jerry Springer?

Sore

To celebrate that most wonderous of spicy comfort foods, and the edgy new direction for the Emerald Archer, I present Oliver “Green Arrow” Queen’s own Chili Recipe.

If you try it, please let us know how it is.

I’ve been waiting for some news for quite a while now. This all links back to my post of a few weeks ago, and unfortunately there’s been no movement which is disappointing. I’m not sure I’d say its life changing stuff, but to use the bullshit bingo term it is “game changing” for me at least. So much so, that my happiness levels have been on a bit of a rollercoaster these past 3 weeks as my thoughts and predictions on the possible news twist and turn. Now I’m in the pessimistic quadrant (if such a thing exists) and I’m liable to stay with my glass half empty until the final confirmation is given.

I’m rambling of course, but thats okay because thats what Monday Musings is all about. It also demonstrates why I’ve not been updating here as often. My concentration levels are, as someone has commented quite succinctly in the past week, akin to Dory from Finding Nemo. Quite.

Normal service hopefully will be resumed this week.

I’ve started to reread The Business of Thought as its been a while since I wrote it and I know it needs work. Where I’d left things was at the end of the first act and of everything I’ve reviewed, the last line there is my favourite and will stay no matter what. It seems such a natural note to close things out in terms of the setup and, with a wink to the reader, we’re set for the confrontation.

Of course there are bits I like, some that need rework and some that really shouldn’t be there in the first place and need to be put out of their misery. Luckily, very little dialogue appears in the latter category which is surprising as I often find that I drop in one to many cliches or that a couple of characters end up with the same voice and require big rewrites. This gets me thinking about whether these characters seem more rounded than I had previously thought and, at the paranoid end of the spectrum, are they too unique (if such a thing were possible) that they could end up grating on me and the reader. As I say, thats the more extreme end so probably not. Still, I’ll keep a close eye on a couple of characters as I go along.

I intend to do a longer piece on 1 or 2 characters in a later post, but want to mention Jennifer who is fast becoming my favourite. I remember spending quite a bit of time on her introduction and backstory at time of writing and it shows as she was primarily a supporting character but now plays a pivotal role, not only in terms of the denoument, but also as the eyes of the reader.

Anyway, more later on Jennifer and the scope of the rewrite.

I smiled a lot that morning.

You see, there are benefits to changing nappies.

So, things are moving on and while I don’t think colic has gone, and she remains uncomfortably windy, she does seem to be able to sleep most of the night which is great because it gives her mum a well deserved rest for a few hours. Of course, I’m now touching virtual wood.

Even better are the smiles of which there are plenty.
____________

On the first born front, Liam has now finished Stage 3 reading which is amazing. Kate and I both look forward to – and fight over – helping him with homework at night and we are both so happy with his progress. His writing is great as well – don’t tell him, but much more coherent than his dad – and last week he made a card for those from his old nursery and wrote in about half a dozen names. This was all for a visit last week as Holly will be starting there later this year.

This morning we had a read of the Tiny Titans trade I bought him for Christmas and he seems to like it. The geekification of my son continues apace.

No, this won’t be a discourse on crossing busy streets or dodging potholes/dog poo. I can hear the collective sighs of sadness even as I type*.

The danger which I speak of today is letting your mind wander and create more potential projects when you are supposed to be working on something else. Which is basically what happened this morning as I strolled into the office, trying desperately to block out the chilling wetness that was soaking through my shirt onto my neck and back region. For some reason – and I don’t know the trigger – my imagination took over and decided to inject yet another idea into my already swamped artistic consciousness.

This time, it started tempting me with a concept for a TV sci-fi/drama series, within 10 minutes I had the concept and came to the quick conclusion that if it did ever exist, it would run for one season and one only. The way things started to map out on my journey, I really couldn’t see it having any legs to stretch out more than a dozen episodes and even then that might push it.

Now it has a working title of “Fundamental” and thats all it’ll be for a while. Notes have been captured and it’ll sit there while I work on the more formed ideas. It’ll come back every so often and tickle me when I least need it to – when I have a self imposed deadline, or perhaps there’s a scene I’m struggling to nail – but it’ll have to wait.

To be fair though, I shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Really, if my brain wants to keep throwing out ideas then great because the day they dry up I’ll just look stupid and you’ll all stand there pointing and laughing at me. No, better to cage the creative beast and let it out every so often than smack it on the nose with a rolled up newspaper and tell it to go lie down.

In the meantime, I need to try and force thoughts on current projects as I walk to ensure nothing else creeps in there. Or maybe I should put on my Zune and crank up the volume and drown out the creative process.

If you would like a piece on the potholes and dog poo in the future, let me know in comments section and I’m sure I can accommodate.

* Which of course is odd, because you’re not reading this as I type unless you have control of my machine and running some sort of key logger. Apologies, I watched “Enemy of the State” 5 years ago.

I love a good caption arrow don’t you? Especially when there’s a question. Doubly especially when its for such a cracking mystery.

Yeah man, I got your Twilight and True Blood right here.

Daredevil was never invited back to boat parties as his new hat had a tendency to affect the tides.

Never again would Nightwing borrow Huntress’ perfume and leave the top off the bottle

The Inhuman’s Scissor Sisters tribute band was a hit across Attilan

I have never been so drawn to a button hole

Its still winter(ish) so more comfort food is appropriate I think. This is a great dish to use with leftovers for example if you’ve cooked a lot of rice one day and keep it in the fridge. Its a bit indulgent with double cream, but what the hell you need the extra fat to keep you going over the cold nights.

Ingredients

• 350g of undyed smoked fish (haddock works)
• 100ml of double cream
• 1 onion, chopped
• 1-2 teaspoons mild curry paste
• 250g rice (cooked in advance)
• 1 teaspoon lemon juice
• 2 tablespoons of frozen peas
• 2 tablespoons of chopped parsley
• 2 eggs, hard boiled and chopped
• Butter

Method

1. Place the fish into a microwavable bowl and pour over the cream. Cover with cling film, pierce some holes in it and cook on full power for 5-6 minutes.
2. Flake the fish and remove the bones
3. Heat butter in a wok or heavy based frying pan and gently fry the onion
4. Add the peas and stir together for 4-5 minutes until onion is soft and peas are cooked
5. Stir in curry paste and cooked rice and cook for 1 minute.
6. Add cooked fish and cream mixture, lemon juice, chopped eggs and parsley
7. Mix together and serve

Strange things are afoot, which are hard to describe without giving the game away which isn’t something I want to do at the moment.

Suffice it to say that following an event last week, I was contacted by 2 people who had heard about said event. One wanted some advice and the other to offer some. All very strange and hopefully I’ll be able to give context at a later date, but for the moment my mind is racing with possibilities, especially after I spoke to both individuals separately on Saturday and Monday.

Still, 2 days off last week and a pretty bad night on call Sunday/Monday meant that my plans for content were severely curtailed. I would say normal service will be resumed next week, but I want to break from the norm which is why I am focusing on writing more. If you get my meaning.

Look out for a recipe later today (yes, its not Monday), more past comic selections on Wednesday and my take on what fake tan looks like on Friday.

Dig that crazy cat Nefaria. He takes request you know.

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Reminds me of that old adage, “Too Young to Die, Too Stupid to Live”

Where’s The National Enquirer when you need it Lois? They would have had the scoop years ago.

I have a feeling this has something to do with frat boys.

No Superman don’t listen to him. Pour it on. Melt the sidekicks. Especially Jimmy.

As it is Shrove/Pancake Tuesday, its time for my favourite pancake recipe. This is from The Joy of Cooking and I make these every Sunday morning. Serve with fruit of your choice (berries are good, especially blueberries), maple syrup if you like and bacon if you eat meat.

Ingredients

• 1.5 cups of plain flour (wholemeal is very tasty)
• 3 tbsp of sugar
• 1.5 tsp of baking powder
• a pinch of salt
• 1.5 cups of milk
• 3 tbsp of butter, melted
• 2 large eggs
• a squirt of vanilla flavour/essence (latter much stronger)

Method

1. Take 2 bowls – one for dry ingredients and one for wet ingredients
2. In the dry bowl, mix together the flour, sugar, baking powder and salt
3. In the web bowl, mix together the milk, eggs, butter and vanilla
4. Pour the web into the dry and stir together well
5. Heat a little butter in a shallow frying pan
6. Turn down the heat to low
7. Drop a ladel full of batter into the centre
8. Swirl around until you get the size you want
9. Return to low heat and wait until lots of bubbles form and burst (about 1 minute)
10. Flip over the pancake and pat down
11. Leave for a further 1-2 minutes (depending on thickness) and check underneath to ensure it is cooked
12. Remove from the heat and butter when warm
13. Repeat from 7 until all pancakes are made

Tips:

• I usually use the first pancake as a tester. Its usually fine and can tide people over until they’re all ready
• Keep the pancakes warm in the oven until all done – quickly open the door and pop the next buttered one in each time
• To speed things up, I usually remove a cooked pancake and then spoon in mixture for the next before i go back and butter the cooked one
• If you want to add fruit(eg strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, bananas),  chop them up and add them to the wet bowl

So, hand dryers. Yeah, not keen. Never have been.

I never saw the point because they never dry your hands properly. Either there’s not enough puff and you have to stand there for an age, or the heat is so intense that you withdraw your hands after a few seconds in searing agony. So, you have to divest time, flesh or my personal choice, use paper. Which is crap because then you feel guilty for contributing to the destruction of the planet.

Of course they don’t usually have paper towels any more – and by that I don’t mean the rotating towel which is so wrong on so many levels – so your only option is to dip into a stall and get toilet roll instead which can be difficult when all are taken. In those situations, the only option is to use the hand dryer.

The other week, I was given some slightly good news and then some horrifying news on this particular subject. I’d like to share both with you.

Dyson, that fine innovator and purveyor of the highly efficient vacuum cleaner – now with added ball technology – has dipped his hand in the hand dryer market. Literally as the machine has been designed for you to dip your digits into the machine and move around – or up and down – to allow for the full drying effect to take place. Believe it or not, the fact that this looks like some sort of robot mouth is not meant to put you off. Some will be of course, but those people have no imagination.

Which is a shame because those with imagination will steer clear of this monster due to the horrifying news that I heard rapidly after the Dyson news.

You see, the main issue with hand dryers is that they are quite good at blowing out bacteria and – get this – fecal matter. Which I don’t understand because I thought that when you wash your hands you get rid of any fecal matter, unless you’re starting to get into an atomic level and if that’s the case tehn all bets are off really. Of course, the Dyson is supposedly the worst for this as it seems to gather the water from people’s hands in a little reservoir at the bottom of the dryer. Which in turn is probably circulated around by the dryer itself, so while you are shaking your immaculately cleaned hands around the dryer you get the output of other people’s poor clean up jobs whirling around your fingers just waiting to latch onto semi dry flesh.

Nice.

Dyson’s have been around for while now I believe, but following the revelation that they existed I was in a toilet last week and saw them in the metal. What was worse was, after I gave them a huge body swerve to use hand towels, I spied someone else using one and indeed saw the pool of fecal infected water at the bottom awaiting to pounce. I desperately wanted to intervene but unfortuntely I fear that if I had, the surprise would have meant an unexpected soaking so I did the usual and ignored the poor sap as I left silently.

So whats the solution? How do you create a hand dryer which is automatic and is sanitary? I don’t know but something like this that I found could do the trick.

I have to admit that The MacGuffin Trilogy was stumbled upon by accident really. Maybe, in years to come,  I’ll look back on it as divine inspiration or some true destiny, played out as if it was planned all along and not just something which happened because I have a problem finishing what I start.

Why, two posts about procrastination in the past week? Whatever can that mean?

Anyway, the real reason for The MacGuffin Trilogy existing – or the name at least –  is because there are 3 distinct novels that I want to get finished, all drawing me into their mythos and demanding that I give them equal attention. Which of course I couldn’t because of other things such as life. But, fundamentally each spoke to me in a way that made me want to keep going, and tell the central characters’ stories.

As I said, timewise it wasn’t really working and I found myself flitting from one story to another as scenes and dialogue for one popped into my head when they really needed to live in one of the others. It was confusing and in the end I was getting nowhere. Fast.

Finally I sat down and took a break. I had to come up with a way of being fair to all three, making sure they understood that while I did want them to exist, some would have to wait a little longer than the other(s) to get there. It was simple after this late night heart to heart – and once the emotions were let out – for us all to move on.

Then of course, I had the idea of a framing scene which would link all three together like the triplets I know I couldn’t cope with. This scene, played out in different times in each novel’s narrative, seems to serve as a way to have a shared universe and perhaps make the whole thing seem more real.

All that was then required was a title and what could be more appropriate for a fictional shared universe than the term MacGuffin?

Indeed.

Nothing like a good headlock to get things started.

More Wonder Woman goodness but I’m in two minds whether I want to be The Demon in this scenario.

Considering this comes out in February you would have to have a lot of patience to wait 10 months to open this issue.

I’ll tradewait.

Cuteness combined with brawling = WIN!

Whatever happened to this guy? Would Nicolas Cage be interested in playing him in a movie?

Probably.

Macaroni and Cheese is a very simple dish to make. However, it can be bland and to be honest anyone serving poor Macaroni and Cheese should be punished severely. With that in mind, and to help eradicate corporal punishment for bland cooking, here is my favourite recipe for this cheesy pasta classic.

Ingredients

• 6 tablespoons butter
• 1/4 cup flour
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon dry mustard
• 1/4 teaspoon pepper
• 3/4 teaspoon Worcestershire Sauce
• 3 cups milk
• 1 small onion, grated
• 3/4 pound shredded sharp Cheddar cheese (3 cups)
• 8 ounces elbow macaroni, cooked and drained
• 3/4 cup soft bread crumbs

Method

1. Preheat oven to 375°F, 190°C, Gas 5
2. In saucepan over medium low heat melt 4 tablespoons butter
3. Blend in flour and seasonings, stirring until smooth and bubbly
4. Gradually stir in milk; cook and stir until thick and smooth.
5. Stir in grated onion and cheese.
6. Place cooked drained macaroni in a buttered casserole dish.
7. Pour sauce over macaroni and gently mix to blend.
8. Melt remaining 2 tablespoons of butter and toss with the bread crumbs.
9. Sprinkle bread crumbs over the macaroni.
10. Bake for 30 minutes, or until golden brown.

Sometimes I like to put some sliced tomatoes on just before I add the breadcrumbs. You can experiment with other toppings as well, but the breadcrumbs are important.

Positively different of course.

Of course I can’t blame fatherhood for my lack of contributions to the site as procrastination is my middle name. On the contrary, what I would say is that becoming a dad again has inspired me to write more,  which I part attribute to the birth being a fresh start, and part due to having a lot of time to think and plan while I pace up and down the 18 square foot space in the kitchen at 1am.

Embracing this new vigour, I have finally started up my personal website which will collate previous works (heh), these posts and updates on various projects. You can find it at http://davidlittlepresents.co.uk if you like – and you might – so drop by.

I’ve also looked at the original plan for The Smorgasbord and only one themed day was ever updated on a regular basis. I’ve taken a look and worked out which do still have legs and which need to be shaken up or removed completely.

So, here’s the new weekly line-up.

Monday Musings: Thoughts on things. Hard to define as it will change from week to week. So far we’ve had subjects from flat pack furniture to hand dryers althought the latter one seems to be gone. I need to find it and repost.

Recipe Tuesday: Some of my favourite recipes that I need to share with you. In the main they are simple and always delicious. You must then go and make them. Immediately.

Wednesday Why: The best of the world’s weird.

Comics I Might Have Bought: My pull list for the week for the same day several years ago.

Thursday Tales: Posts on my pursuit of a literary career.

Friday Fatherhood: A summary of my week as a dad.

Spam of the Week:  Best piece of spam seen in the comments section.

There you have it. Hopefully you’ll drop by regularly to read the plethora of content, or at the very least, help blow the tumbleweed across the virtual ghost town.

Enjoy.

Good to see Superman was a stalker before the movie reboot. Stalking yourself though… thats got to be the weirdest.

Oh, looks like it runs in the family.

Avenging the Avengers? You see what they did there?

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You wouldn’t want to be stoned looking at this cover. But it might help.

Elektra provides a potentially extreme cure to Daredevil’s deviated septum.

These cookies come from the remarkable Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall, who isn’t so much a British chef but an exponent for self sufficiency. Over the years his River Cottage series have shown him raise his own produce, and help catch and cull various animals and fish to prepare for his family’s plate, or as part of a banquet to those local heroes he so loves. 

When I make these, I often mix things up by having a batch of dark chocolate and a batch of white chocolate or both in one. These really expand to create huge cookies so ensure you leave lots of space between the blobs of sweet goodness before they go in the oven.

Ingredients

• 100g/3½oz good dark chocolate
• 125g/4½oz unsalted butter
• 100g/3½oz granulated sugar
• 75g/2½oz soft brown sugar
• 1 free-range egg
• 2 tsp vanilla extract
• 150g/5¼oz plain flour
• ½ tsp baking powder
• a pinch of salt

Method

1. Heat the oven to 190C/375F/Gas 5. Line two baking sheets with baking parchment. Chop the chocolate into little chunks and set aside.
2. Heat the butter in a small saucepan very gently until it has just melted. Meanwhile, put the two types of sugar into a mixing bowl.
3. Pour the melted butter on top of the sugars and beat well with a wooden spoon.
4. Add the egg and the vanilla and beat until well blended.
5. Sift the flour, baking powder and salt into the mixing bowl and stir them in, then add the chopped chocolate.
6. Dot heaped pudding spoonfuls of the mixture over the lined baking sheets, leaving plenty of space in between them–they really spread out while baking.
7. Put the baking sheets in the oven and bake for 8-10 minutes, until the cookies are just turning golden brown.
8. Leave the cookies on the baking sheets to harden for a couple of minutes, then carefully lift up the baking parchment and transfer them to a wire cooling rack.
9. You can eat these cookies warm, but they are also good cold, and they store well in an airtight tin.

Serve, of course, with a tall glass of chilled milk.

Ingredients

• 3 tablespoons of olive oil
• 12 good free-range pork sausages
• 6 rashers of bacon or some chopped pancetta
• 1 med red onion
• 2 cloves garlic peeled & chopped
• 1 red chilli (or more to taste) chopped
• 1 tablesp dark soft brown sugar
• 2 x 400gr tins plum or chopped tomatoes
• Dash of red or white wine
• 2 410 tins cannellini beans drained and rinsed.
• 1 410 g tin kidney beans drained and rinsed.
• Leaves from fresh parsley.

Method

• Place a large heavy based saucepan on the hob and heat the oil.
• Add the sausages and fry over a medium heat, turning them over until they are browned.
• Take them out of the pan, halve them and set aside.
• Add a little extra oil if necessary, turn the heat to low and add the bacon and the onion and fry gently for about 10mins stirring from time to time so they don’t stick to the bottom.  They will pick up the lovely sausage goo from the saucepan.
• Add the garlic and chilli and fry for another couple of mins then add the sugar.
• Pour in the tomatoes, wine and 275 ml of water. Stir in the sausages and the beans.
• Bring to the boil then cover and cook for 15 to 20 mins over a low to medium heat until the sausages are well cooked through.
• To Serve taste and season and sprinkle with the parlsey.
• Serve with fresh crusty bread or mash potatoes.

I’m not sure, is faceless kissing a good thing? A step up from wearing a paper bag perhaps?

This is confusing as well. Are those men about to throw Superman into a lake to celebrate his birthday, or are they … oh wait.

So when did Transformers start controlling our children’s education? Did no one even think to send me the memo? I guess the Target Masters are for that new fangled early examination fad. It’ll never last.

The only Strange Tale I’m hoping resides beyond this cover is how someone came up with those costumes. Although, to be fair, it looks as though the Black Cat has her usual costume on backwards. But Dagger? Really?

My favourite movie of all time stars Laurence Olivier and Michael Caine in a quite extraordinary film based on the play by Anthony Shaffer. Both stars play their parts brilliantly – Olivier is the  best selling author Andrew Wyke who loves playing games; Caine is the hairdressing lothario who is having an affair with Wyke’s estranged wife – and capture your attention from the very first moment to the unexpected ending. The film is akin to one of Wyke’s games; complicated and full of twists and turns which elevate it from a standard whodunnit to a whosgonnadowhatnow?

The script fairly crackles and gives both actors ample opportunity to chew up the screen, taking turns to play victim and hunter, all the while seemingly having a ball.

Unlike many of the same genre, Sleuth bares watching many times because while the ending remains the same, there are some little touches and props which you will catch anew upon repeat viewings. I love to see which of the victorian mechanical toys or playsets.

An excellent film, beautfully written, acted and directed.

Oh, and a good trivia question is always, “Name a film where all of the actors were nominated for Oscars”.

My comic book posts have been fairly DC centric, but the first superhero I encountered in my formative years and who I still hold a literary torch for is Spider-Man. It was probably because of Marvel UK publishing their Spider-Man weekly title that I met the wallcrawler, and then subsequently the broadcast of the first animated series in the UK in the 70s, which was closely followed by the live-action films and TV show starring Nicolas Hammond as Peter Parker/Spider-Man.

The character is the Everyman, given power accidentally and using it as a force for good. His life isn’t perfect by any stretch of the imagination and he’s been put through the ringer countless times in both his personal and “professional” lives, but he gives it all he has and triumphs, bringing hope to us all. Then he picks up his books, or pulls on the mask and goes again.

Truly a classic character who has transcended successfully from page to screen; a bookish nerd who comes good.

Don’t we all want to be him?

Oh, they are so awesome! Really. If you don’t like them, fine. You know what though, how have you had them? Boiled until they are a soggy, stinky mess? Highly probable, and if that’s the case you OWE it to yourself to give them another go, cooking them simply and deliciously. Since Day 37 is a Tuesday, which is also designated here at The Smorgasbord as Recipe Tuesday, here’s how to make the brussel sprouts awesome for your holiday table (and beyond):

Wash the sprouts, taking off some of the external leaves

Cut a cross at the bottom of the sprout

Now, either steam them for 7-9 minutes or pop them in a microwaveable dish with a little water and microwave for 5 minutes.

When done, toss with a little butter and for a festive twist add some grated nutmeg.

You could also toss them in the pan with some pancetta and maple syrup if you like. It’ll add some richness and sweetness.

I love Alfred Hitchcock movies. Eat them up, I do. He created some of the greatest thrillers (Hell, lets say it, greatest films) of all time. My personal favourites are Rope, Vertigo, North By Northwest and I do have a soft spot for Family Plot, his last creation. But none of them compare to Strangers On A Train a classic which sees two men who both have someone in their lives that they would rather not – Guy Haines (Farley Grainger) a tennis professional who wants a divorce from his wife to marry a senator’s daughter, and Bruno Anthony (Robert Walker) who wishes his father were dead – meet and discuss swapping murders, this way ridding each other of their pain whilst providing the other with an alibi. Guy takes it as a joke but the psychotic Bruno does not and follows through, killing Guy’s wife and leaving evidence.

I’ll spoil no more, save to say that this is another example of Hitchcock’s mastery (the viewpoint of the murder being one) and that 2 key moments are set in the fairground. the second being the climatic battle on a children’s carousel which thrilling to say the least. The speed that the carousel rotates as the two men fight amidst the horses is only amplified by the shots of the carnie crawling underneath to get to the control booth and shut it off. Breathtakingly scary.

Nice Horsey

The Internet (or Teh Internet depending on your disposition) is an awesome and often dire place. Lets not dwell too much on the latter, for this is all about teh awesome. One of the best things that teh internet has given us is a chance to purchase great products at truly innovative places.

Last Exit To Nowhere is certainly one of those. Here a simple concept was taken (create apparel that bears the slogan and symbol of fictional locations/companies) and pitched at the masses who, loving the literary reference, purchase for themselves or their equally geek brethren. Inspired.

The ship in Alien, the evil corporation from Robocop or the police force from the Jaws movies are all namechecked and emblazoned across the line with dozens of others. Hell those 3 make up a small portion of the kids line.

Me?

Abe Froman? The Sausage King of Chicago?

Bizarre. Hilarious. Two words which readily spring to mind when thinking of this macabre comedy series based in the fictional village of Royston Vasey. Another is innovative. Add inspired and, oh heck why not, genius. The quadruplets that are The League of Gentlemen (writer/performers Mark Gattiss, Steve Pemberton, Reece Sheersmith, and writer/producer Jeremy Dyson) created something wonderful, not only with the setting but with a myriad of characters who were sometimes joyful, often sad but always funny… and strange. From Tubs and Edward to Pauline to the sinister Hilary Briss and the much maligned Papa Lazarou, these are truly grotesque but somehow endearing (why would we continue to watch, trot out the catchphrases and buy the merchandise) and a breath of fresh are in an often stale TV schedule.

The first two series were terrific, and while the third took a detour in formula it still is head and shoulders above many other offerings of the time and definitely deserves another look.

Ray Harryhausen was the king of stop motion animation. Bar none. From the 1940s he added the classic touch to films such as Jason and the Argonauts, Mighty Joe Young and Clash of the Titans. The creatures he designed and brought to life to threaten, fight, or protect were innovative and well ahead of their time. Even today, in the age of CGI, they seem somehow more lifelike than those generated via computer. Watching the army of skeleton warriors in Jason and the Argonauts is creepily effective.

In 1977 Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger was released, and I was taken to see it as a surprise by my mum at Muirend Cinema (sadly no longer with us). As an 8 year old, I was captivated and totally in awe. I really believed that these creatures could exist. Perhaps not in the South side of Glasgow, but somewhere anyway.

I’ve caught up now with most of the other movies that had the Harryhausen touch, but something about this one – maybe the robotic Minotaur, the huge wasp or perhaps Jane Seymour – has stuck with me.

I may have mentioned my love for the Justice League Satellite era previously, and this is one of the reasons why. I’m a bit notorious on YMB for my love of Zatanna, and not withstanding the poor episode of Smallville which saw her make her small screen debut, it hasn’t waned.

Thing is, I can’t give a clear reason why. Is it the magic? Talking backwards to cast spells? A strong female character (when used correctly) who seems to be confident in not only her abilities, but her sexuality? The fishnets and top hat? Could be, but whatever it is, she’s one of my favourite characters in any literary form.

I remember at one stage, Barry Allen (aka the Silver Age Flash) lost his wife and, as part of the Justice League title, he and Zatanna became close. A romance seemed to be in the offing, and it was interesting to see such a drama being played out in a comic book. Even at that young age, I understood the trauma that Barry must have been going through and this young woman was there to help him and perhaps help him forget. It didn’t last because Zatanna realised that Barry still loved his dead wife, but I’ll always remember that subplot.

Zatanna became a key plot point in Identity Crisis, which was a big company wide event years ago and there are some reservations about the central concept and storyline, it did enough to prove that she is a strong character.

With Grant Morrison and Ryan Sook featuring a 4 issue mini tying into Seven Soldiers of Victory, to Paul Dini featuring her in his recent run on Detective (and her new ongoing series tha the is penning next year), I have been and will continue to be a happy bunny.

Litnu txen emit.

I got into jazz late in the day. I got a new stereo system and to go with it I went and bought a few jazz cds including one by Louis Armstrong and his All Stars. I jumped to one I knew (Now You Has Jazz featuring Bing Crosby from the movie High Society).

I think I played it 30 times. Then about 40 for his version of Mack the Knife. Then I put the longevity of CDs to their ultimate test over the next few weeks, truly breaking in the stereo in.

The song which had the greatest effect on me was his version of La Vie En Rose, where his performance was so strong that I actually felt I could see him in some smoky jazz club, sitting down (no idea why) and delivering this amazing rendition of the classic song.

To this day, he is the one performer that I wish I could have seen live.

The name of the game may be DEATH, but as it could be running on a ZX Spectrum, it could also be PIXELATED EMBARRASSMENT.

Who says two ROMs aren’t better than one? Certainly not Mrs ROM.

Sometimes commentary isn’t needed.

The literal villain strikes again!

So many questions, and all surrounding why Nighthawk is holding his head when his genitals have been targeted? Does he not see the small woman dangling from them?

Chosen for god damn awesomeness!

Over the years there have been countless actors ho have played the world’s most famous fictional detective, but in my eyes one man is the definitive Holmes. This is similar to my choice of Tom Baker as Doctor Who on Day 21, and would probably be as divisive if anyone actually read these posts.

Growing up, and during the school holidays, BBC would show a season of the Rathbone Sherlock Holmes films early in the morning and I ate them up. This was before I read any of Conan-Doyle’s tales of the master sleuth, but I was wrapped by Rathbone’s performances, so much so that I rented some of the classic stories from the local library. It was the first time that I had any desire to follow up something I had seen in the cinema or on television via the source material, and while the Holmes I read at that time had flaws not addressed in the films, the core character was all Rathbone.

The films also introduced me to the scariest creature ever, with the introduction of The Hoxton Creeper, brilliantly played by Rondo Hattan in The Pearl of Death. So much so that I slept with my back against the wall for years.

Powerful stuff.

Oh sweet, almost sickly vixen.

Your taste sets my teeth a-tingle.

My tongue flicks your rough hind

and laps at your stickiness.

When I bite … oh my

delicious

Scottish

buttery

joy.

Heart palpitations.

copyright The Smorgasbord, December 2009

Oh yes. Nothing finer on a summer evening than a good margarita in a cool glass with a salty rim. Actually, never mind the summer, winter works too and I’m pretty glad of the all year round awesomeness of margaritas as my father-in-law makes some of the best ever. Of course its not as good that we’re not in Florida to get some limes from their trees, but perhaps a project this Christmas is finding local ones good enough to make this delicious drink.

And isn’t a 99cent frozen margarita the best drink you can have in Las Vegas?

I think it is.

Remember how I mentioned way back on Day 15 that Monty Python seemed to be something different compared to the usual comedy fare I watched as a child? You don’t? Don’t worry, I did. I did miss one out from the list though, and that was deliberate because The Two Ronnies were a class above the rest. Yes, people effused about Morecombe and Wise and they were funny, but for me Messrs Corbett and Barker were the classic comedy double act.

The list of classic sketches rolls off the tongue:

• Fork Handles
• The Ministry for Sex Equality
• The Opticians
• Crossed Lines
• A Spokesman for the Ministry of Communication
• Answering the question before last (a la Mastermind)

Add to this Ronnie Corbett’s weekly joke – an keen demonstration of wonderful tangential thinking but with a poor, often pun filled punchline – and lots of hilarious fake news bulletins and you have fantastically funny show.

However, then you add in some sparklingly inventive musical pieces and a few truly wonderful episodic sketches stretched across the series (The Phantom Raspberry Blower of Old London Town; The Worm that Turned; Charlie Farley and Piggy Malone) and its a wonder this show didn’t go on to rule the world.

Its interesting, checking back on the history of Ealing Comedies, that the Ealing Age spanned just 10 years between 1947 and 1957. A short time of course, but when you look at the number of classic films they produced in that time, its amazing they amount of quality they managed to squeeze out of a decade.

Whisky Galore!, Passport to Pimlico, The Lavender Hill Mob, all classics of their time and they don’t date, I promise.

My favourites though are Kind Hearts and Coronets, The Man in the White Suit and The Ladykillers and a big reason for that is Sir Alec Guinness whose performances in each one are fantastic. The innocent turned fugitive inventor who creates an unbreakable, unstainable cloth; the leader of a band of criminals who pits his wits against an aged landlady; or the tour-de-force as 8 members of the D’Ascoyne family (male and female) offed by a manipulating, vengeful relative.

I like to think of Ealing Comedies not just as classics of the genre, and of past times, but character studies fleshed out into beautiful tales of morality.

Each generation of TV viewers has a police or crime show that resonates with them. Over the years I’ve enjoyed ones such as Streets of San Francisco, Callan, Starsky and Hutch, Cracker… hell, even Dempsey and Makepeace. While nowadays its all CSI, The Shield and The Wire, back in the 90s a show hit the BBC which really seemed to hit the spot for me.

Between The Lines was a police show, but centring on the Complaints Investigation Bureau – a sort of British Internal Affairs – where the decent beat cops and those on the take in some form or another are investigated by what should by all rights be a crack squad of the very best. However, the protagonists are either flawed, on the take themselves or extremely reluctant doing the job in the first place.

The first series was excellent with episodes tackling some extremely tough subjects, all intertwining nicely with an overarching storyline with very Senior officers implicated. The performances by the main cast were superb and you could tell a lot of effort was put in by both the actors and the writing team fleshing out the characters. This was key, because without the flaws, doubt, borderline alcoholism, backstabbing and womanising the show wouldn’t have been half as good.

Sadly, after the second series the show hit the buffers, taking the team out of the environment which had made them and setting them up as pseudo private detectives.

A shame, but there are two great series of this show still around which are engrossing.

I can’t find a picture of this and that is a good thing. This dish is absolutely wonderful, made even more magical as Kate and I had it on our honeymoon twice in the Seychelles.

The owners of the cafe were so nice that they gave us the recipe and while I’ve tried to cook it twice, its pretty hard to find parrot fish in Edinburgh and even if I did, it would never take as spectacular as on a beach on a warm evening.

One day, we’ll go back and have some more.

Okay, take a guy who likes comic books. Then create a game which is based on the superhero genre of comic books. Put them together and you have the recipe for some fun times. However, then get a talented community on the Interweb who spend a huge amount of time customising and creating literally hundreds of models based on the characters who kept him glued to those once reasonably priced comic books? What happens then?

Heh.

Once again I find myself re-writing one of these posts over and over, but the words don’t seem to do it justice.  In this case, how do you do justice describing a frankly hilarious movie starring one of the best comedy actors of all time, a sultry femme fatale at the height of her… eh… sultriness, and one of the best villainous actors evah!

So, never mind reading this. Just go out and rent, or better still buy, The Man With Two Brains starring Steve Martin, Kathleen Turner and David Warner.

Now.

aka Tom Baker.

Yes, there have been plenty of others and at one time or another they’ve all done good work in the role, but for me Tom Baker was THE Doctor. Of course before him, John Pertwee was THE Doctor but once he was bitter by a giant spider and changed into Tom Baker, there was and would be no other. Even the first enemy he fought, The Giant Robot, freaked me out for a good few years and all that was was a Giant Robot. Through the Baker years not only did I become familiar with the nemeses of Davros, The Daleks, The Cybermen, the worst/best Master evah! but also the horrors of The Sontorans, and the Brain of Morbius. Plus, a cracking story where he’s accused of trying to assassinate the President of the Time Lords and he just breezes through it all.

Add to this some of THE BEST assistants of all time such as Sarah Jane, Leela and K9 and pretty much this is the watershed era of Doctor Who.

Still I’m pretty sure that when Liam gets to my age it’ll be the David Tennant or Matt Smith era.

We’ll see.

Some people call comic books funny books. Maybe its a hark back to the days of comics in newspapers, and their enclosed section being known as the Funny Papers. Maybe I’ll look it up on Wikipedia, but no matter the history, the past 20 or so years have seen comics move to a darker and more serious place, with cheesecake added for some titillation (nothing wrong with that of course). So where did the funny in funny books go?

Nowhere.

Eric Powell’s The Goon is a hilarious, and beautifully drawn book which tells the tale of a thug/enforcer named The Goon, and his best pal and brawlin’ buddy Frankie as they work to keep their small town under some modicum of control whilst also battling some strange (very strange) forces of darkness. Led by the Zombie Priest, who lives on Lonely Street, an undead horde attempt to wrestle control of the town and rule the world. Or something.

Supporting characters such as Dr Alloy, Buzzard and the sleazy, cheatin’, deadbeat dad Spider all play their part in Goon mythos and provide welcome distractions from the ongoing war against evil.

Each issue is loaded with great gags, whether they be puns, one-liners or slapstick and as I mentioned earlier beautiful art. And lurking beneath it all is a tail of pain and sadness, as the Goon’s history is not one of roses and

But don’t worry, this is a funny book in every sense of the word(s). Try it, it won’t disappoint.

No, not Dante’s noted works… you should know me better than that by now.

Neil Hannon is a wizard, there’s no two ways about it.  He knows how to craft a tune, and his lyrics are some of the most sublime I have ever heard. However, while he knows how to pen a fun little ditty, his output via The Divine Comedy and collaborations with other fine musicians over the years, if you take the time to listen… really listen, there are some truly beautiful and classical songs in there.

So, while you know of them from National Express, Generation Sex and perhaps My Lovely Horse, take some time to look up and enjoy such wonderful songs as The Certainty of Chance, The Dogs & the Horses, or Gin Soaked Boy. And then, crank up the volume for Everybody Knows (Except You) and I dare you not to pick up the phone and call someone you love.

Do it.

Hulk plays hide and seek.

Yeah, thats heartless Superman. Nice to see the masses sizing up the heroes for supper.

Now please, why was this particular angle for Iris chosen? Hmmm?

Marvel’s ladies strike back at misogynistic DC cover artists.

I’m saying nothing.

For those who haven’t sampled Berkeley Breathed opus, featuring Opus the penguin et al, I heartily recommend it. I first picked up a collection in 1989 and loved the tales centred on the Bloom boarding house, which seemed to be more of a male commune now I come to think of it. While Opus took centre stage (with the sometimes dead, sometimes alive and always wasted Bill the Cat just slightly off towards the wings) the ecclectic cast of characters and the breadth thereof were so richly fleshed out, even in a weekly strip, that I truly had no favourite.

The strength of the strip was such that it helped me understand the vagaries of not only the American political system but also some of the more obscure (for me) celebrities from those shores. And by celebrities I include the likes of Tammy Fay Bakker and Mary Kay. Truly, the very definition of Fun and Educational.

Sadly, the strip ended and while Outland resurrected Opus and some of the key players, that Bloom County magic didn’t seem to move over to the new book. Still, the legacy is there as are the archive editions.

Akkk!

Championship Manager

Okay, I’ve listed 3 games so far and 2 are for The Beautiful GameTM. Interestingly enough, this is also one (of myriad) sports that I was and still am crap at. However, I do believe it clearly demonstrates the power of gaming that within a short while of cracking open the game I can be winning leagues, cups and conquering European club competitions. Hell, I think I even won the World Cup as Scotland. All of this pales into insignificance to when I won the Vans Trophy as Tranmere.

Anyway, a football management game which understands the power it has over the playing community (when you have loaded your game and look at status, you often see the likes of “You need to get some sunlight” or “That woman in the corner packing her bags is your wife”) knows its onto a winner and while often the updates were only minor tweaks but with full database updates so you can track when Luis Figo moved to Partick Thistle (and of course he always did with me).

Sadly, the peak for me was reached with CM 03/04 and I still play it from time to time. I’m not as addicted as I used to be, but you can never say never. I never really grasped Football Manager (which took all the best bits of CM other than the name) so the mid noughties version of Championship Manager brings all the good memories.

Toast is my kryptonite. Well, my green K anyway, crisps being my red K. Whether it be with melted cheese (add some Worcestershire sauce to spice it up, or perhaps salami slices to make it mini pizza like), peanut butter and jam or just delicious with melted butter its a king’s feast. Don’t get me started on adding some crispy bacon and brown sauce for a lazy weekend breakie.

Of course, its carbalicious and perhaps the one thing I miss the most when I kick into South Beach.

The good thing is, I’m not on that now and can enjoy the crunchy, lush goodness on occasion.

Oh, and one more thing to back this awesomeness up – what other food would a company release Jesus and Virgin Mary gadgets for? Huh? Huh?

From memory, I watched Fawlty Towers before Monty Python when I was a child but that was probably more to do with (and this may shock those who also grew up in the UK) there being a time that the BBC didn’t do too many repeats. However, when they did appear on BBC2 and I was able to catch an episode (I wasn’t blocked from watching, it was just that there may have been a clash with Upstairs Downstairs or my bedtime or some such) it was just marvellous. Having been experienced with the steady comedic arms of Morecombe and Wise, Dad’s Army and the like this was like a shot of adrenalin to a happily ticking heart (forgive my lack of medical knowledge for potentially killing myself in search of a cliched simile) and for someone of my early years it was like an epiphany. Comedy could be anarchic, off the wall but perhaps most of all, it could take risks; sometimes the gags wouldn’t work but that was fine, and most of the time the performers could laugh as part of the sketch and that was fine.

The TV show was such a favourite that the cobbled together anthology of skits for launch in the US “And Now For Something Completeley Different” is for me by far the best of the movie offerings from the troupe. Classics such as How Not To Be Seen, The Hungarian Phrasebook and Marriage Guidance Councillor are polished up and presented in widescreen loveliness, and while some others like Bicycle Repairman are sadly missed, its understandable with so many quality sketches in their portfolio.

A truly amazing dessert which I will choose every day of the week and twice on Sundays, if it is presented to me. I’m not a dessert man, but I could happily turn into one if this was readily available. A beautiful mix of biscuit, toffee, banana and cream it kicks the arse out of most cakes and is head and shoulders above other pies. In an even fight, I would choose it over my childhood favourite Lemon Meringue Pie.

I’ve transcribed my friend’s recipe before, so give it a go if you get the chance. It can be found here

And keep a slice for me.

At college, my favourite was a pint of Special (or Heavy) which is basically a dark, watery substance which is tasty and cold. Gets you drunk too. When I moved to Edinburgh, I dabbled with more creamier brews with some substance; together with IPA, bitters were a good move for me. Plus, I got right into real ale.

Everything went fine, and other than picking up a slight appreciation for wine (although I am NOT a connoisseur by any stretch of the imagination) everything was safe.

Then Kate introduced me to Sierra Nevada and all bets were off. A wonderful beer, brewed in the US, with such a great robust flavour; spicy tastes giving a warmth for the cold nights and a freshness for the warm. Within only a few pints, it took pride of place at the top of my favourite beer list.

Of course over here its not as easy to buy any, and when you do get it it is expensive. But its worth it, and I know I will be picking up a few for the Holiday season. Watching the Queen’s Speech will be infinitely more palatable with Sierra Nevada in my hand.

Half Life was arguably one of the best games ever. The single player campaign was superb and absorbing; slightly frustrating too when you had to bash head crabs with a crowbar. The multi-player was nothing short of fantastic fun, and many a lunchtime was spent playing in the office all those years ago. Of course this was turned up a notch when one erstwhile person found a fully mod version called Action Half-Life.

Instantly, crowbars were replaced with knives that could be flung; double handed pistols replaced the more boring single handgun and… oh my, getting to dive and shoot at the same time? Hot.

Of course after playing this version over several suitable maps (Chinatown anyone?) there was little chance of going back to the original version.

Now, can we all remember the names we chose?

I’ve written about my love for British horror movies of the 60s and 70s before (thank you YMB archive) and it is still as strong, lo these 30 years later. While I described at the time the fond memories of watching them with my gran, there was another reason why these films worked and stayed with me for so long … Peter Cushing.

Undoubtedly his iconic performances as Baron Frankenstein or Abraham Van Helsing first brought him to my attention, but watching his appearances in films such as Twins of Evil, The Ghoul, The Gorgon and Dr Terror’s House of Horrors it was easy to see that even though the films themselves could be described as kitch and got more sex and gore focused, he was a genuine actor who was able to bring a presence and gravitas to every role he played.  It was obvious (although not until I was older and read about his life before Hammer) that he had started out in theatre, radio and television.

My respect for him was so strong that for about 16 years I hunted to get his autobiography and finally managed to get my hands on a re-issue last year. Reading it demonstrated that he was also a talented storyteller, replaying fascinating anecdotes from every period of his professional and personal life. The latter, documenting his love affair with his wife and her eventual death is one of the most emotive pieces I have ever read.

While we will forever remember him in those classic Hammer roles or for those great performances as Holmes, Doctor Who and Grand Moff Tarquin in Star Wars, not to mention the hilarious backwards cameo in the Top Secret, for me he is one of the only actors whose performances I would watch no matter what the plot or review.

A true gentleman and a legend.

Isn’t it always the same?

You and your pals get together with some other friends (and in most cases alternative versions of yourselves) from another universe once a year. As part of this annual catch up, amidst the cheese pineapple hedgehog and prawn cocktails some threat appears which could destroy both worlds. What ya gonna do, other than team up and save the world(s)… again. Le sigh.

In reality, the annual Justice League and Justice Society team ups were some of my favourite comics of the time, especially when they teamed up against the Secret Society of Supervillains, or brought in a third string such as All Star Squadron, New Gods or Legion of Superheroes. These were huge stories, with a wide, rotating cast of characters; meat and potatoes to a young boy growing up in Scotland and getting into the whole Superhero comic thang.

There have been a few attempts to recreate the team-ups, but nothing has stuck. We live in a different age though, one with multi-part crossovers and huge universe changing Crises. Surely there’s some place left for a return to the fun, annual event.

Huh? Whatdya say DC?

In the meantime, pennies will be saved for the DC Classics Library or some of the volumes of Crisis on Multiple Earths.

Confused? You won’t be…

Soap for me is classic television, let alone classic television comedy. Parodying daytime Soaps, but with the stories turned up to ludicrous, it has at its centre 2 sisters and their different lives. While the normal soap staples were there (sex, murder, revenge, amnesia, secret children, power etc) very quickly the story arcs widened to include alien abduction, devil possessed children, cult abduction, regression hypnosis. You know what though, it never seemed silly. Interestingly, these self same plots could now be considered passée with real soaps.

It was essential Sunday night viewing, but I wonder whether watching it again about 30 years later would still be as good.

Would some of the magic be lost?

Could it stand up to repeat viewings?

Will I add the DVD sets to my list for Santa this year?

“These questions—and many others—will be answered in the next episode of Soap.”

When I was young we had a long, faux chestnut cabinet which held the record player and enough room inside for LPs and 45s. I remember it, because other than playing some BBC children’s LP (and even then mostly the Doctor Who theme) it scared me, or rather the music that often blared out from it at silly o’clock in the morning scared me. That was when various family members would arrive home from the pub and decide to play records as loudly as possible. All along the street you could hear the music roaring out through the night, as if it was some sort of competition.

I digress.

The only song I can remember which never made me clasp my hands over my ears and mutter “Turn it down” was Wuthering Heights by Kate Bush. Even now, looking back, I think I was able to understand the beauty in the lyric and the sweeping instruments, but what really struck me was the vocal range and performance of the then 17 year old Kate Bush.

Our paths didn’t cross for many years, until one day I bought her greatest hits The Whole Story. The rest, as they say  in France, was histoire.

Kate Bush was and is not only a fine singer/songwriter, but an actress and performer and it is those qualities which make you believe she can be the cheated wife in Babooshka, the frightened yet vengeful child in Cloudbustin‘, the doting wife providing comfort and strength to her husband in Don’t Give Up and the haunted lover in that first hit record all those years ago.

Truly, a legendary artiste.

You can’t beat ‘em can you? Whether its because of a wild Saturday night, or taking time out to chill and graze whilst reading the morning papers with their 700 supplements or just a time to chill with the family, Sunday Breakfasts are without a doubt a beloved meal. Nae experience.

Dare I say it, could the Sunday breakfast be the best meal of the week? For me it certainly is and has been for quite some time and while in my younger days that was because I was resting after a wild (or at least late) Saturday night and would load up on a full Scottish, breakfast (washed down with a pint on rare occasions) now it is because we have a tradition in the Little household and that is pancakes.

I make them each Sunday, and Liam helps in most cases, and its a true family ritual. I’m hoping it lasts for a good few years, not because I need to carb up every Sunday morning, but because I’m sure as the kids get older then we won’t have as many meals together.

If the Sunday pancake breakfast allows us to have at least one meal a week together, then it’ll be my favourite meal for quite a few years.

I don’t drink whisky much, but when I do I stick to a few old faithfuls. Talisker, MacAllan and Lagavulin are the favourites and lovely one a cold winter’s night with a half 80 or IPA. However, a friend once offered me a Port Cask Glenmorangie a few years ago and I have to say that its something I would drink more often.

For those of you who haven’t experienced these before, I highly recommend. Basically, the whisky is matured as normal for 10 years in Oak casks. It is then finished off in barrels which once held Port (or indeed Sherry, Madeira) for a further 2 years and it is this process which gives it a distinctive, sweeter taste.

A few other distilleries have done something similar, but I think that Glenmorangie was the first to get something out to the mass market, or at least it was for me.

Right now, with the stinking cold I am cultivating (hence the lateness of Day 6), the thought of cracking open my own bottle for a toddy (or just for a warm half) is very tempting.

I first discovered Sensible Soccer as a demo 3.5″ disk on one of the PC Gamer magazines but I didn’t buy it. When I read how great it was I went back for said magazine and they were sold out. Curses! I waited patiently for the game to eventually be released for the PC (Amiga owners had been loving it for a while) and paid full price for it. I then cut myself off from the world for quite some time.

Its such a simple and highly addictive game. Fast, fun and with simple pixelated graphics (the one eyed men) you could spend minutes or hours playing. Plus, with editing facilities you could customise to your hearts content or download updates (thank you Internet).

When a new version was released, Sensible World of Soccer (aka SWOS), I was awestruck. Leagues and career modes sucked me in and I was immersed in the same simple, fun world but it was truly epic in scale if you get my meaning. I even ran a website on Geocities (got bless them and all who sailed in them) with a competition, but it petered out after I realised how boring it was to watch 20 games in a row without actually getting to play.

Le sigh.

Every so often I break it out and play again, reliving the fond memories that are tinged with sadness because I could have achieved so much in my life if I hadn’t had that addiction. Oh, and now I have it for the PSP, so can play on the go.

Truly wonderful.

I wrote and revised this a half dozen times, but nothing I came up with could do this film justice. If you have never seen it, go rent it or better still buy it. You won’t regret it, I promise.

Suffice to say, its the only case where I will admit to, or indeed be, a denier.

There were never any sequels to this movie. Oh, and there will never be a remake (also see Sleuth)

Oh and that poster. That poster. It had pride of place in my room at home for the back half of the 80s and some of the 90s.

Let me paint a picture for you. A young boy; healthy and happy, working his way through secondary school. No real vices (yet) but with two addictions. The Matt Houston TV show and Tudor Pickled Onion Crisps. Okay, maybe addiction is a little harsh and probably not the right description. Lets say he has a ritual.

Each Monday evening, he would finish his dinner and homework, before retiring to his room where he would play some darts or snooker (on the second tiniest table available). Come 8pm, he would settle down in a chair to watch the adventures of the titular Texan private detective, accompanied by a packet (or two) of Pickled Onion crisps.

I don’t know if the show made the taste better, or the taste made the show better but they seemed a match made in heaven. 50 minutes or so of fun and junk food before the 9 o’clock news and more darts.

Of course over the years, Matt Houston disappeared into his open to the belly button denim shirt, but the love affair with the crisps seemed to last a lifetime. The boy and his savoury confectionery enjoyed many more trysts over the years, even dreaming of one day owning a complete box of 24 (with a promotion, sometimes 36). However, he eventually grew out of them (girls could have been the stimulus for that or the realisation that darts isn’t truly a sport) or the evil Walkers corporation retired the Tudor brand. Either way, they parted around the late 80s and never met again.

But sometimes… just sometimes, he can see that white box sitting in the corner of his room, its circular maw wide and packets spilling out onto the sanded floor.

Why will the X-Men fall when Kitty Pryde leaves? Because she’s got all the furniture in that case? Or maybe its the 10 speed racer thats up for grabs.

 Boy does Yellowjacket look like he’s in a funk or what? But wait, if he hurries, perhaps he can win a 10-speed racer. That’ll put a smile on his face.

Freud would have had a field day with this I’m sure. Of course now I’m thinking of that scene from Johns’ Avengers run with Wasp and Yellowjacket in Vegas.

Nice to see the Justice League spent a lot of their time being beaten way back when which proves its not a new phenomenon. Also, Superman looks more as if he’s swooning than beaten to a pulp by the Ultrahumanite. Also, not lack of 10-speed racer winning potential in the DC world. Shame.

Yeah, thats telling them.

I first read about Firestorm in DC Comics Presents #17 where he helped Superman defeat Killer Frost, who was using her power to seduce and manipulate the Man of Steel. The story, written by Gerry Conway and drawn by the amazing Jose Garcia Lopez (check out the scene where Superman has Firestorm pinned down in the centre of the Earth if you don’t believe me) ended with Superman pretty much offering Firestorm membership of the the Justice League and that was about it. I vaguely remember some comment box or similar saying that the follow up would be in the aforementioned team book, but back then it was a cliffhanger.

Firestorm, for those of you who don’t know, is/are the fused personalities of Professor Martin Stein and Ronnie Raymond whose paths crossed during a student demonstration at a nuclear facility where Stein worked. Raymond went to impress a girl, but found that the protesters wanted to blow up the place. He rushed to save Stein who had been knocked unconscious but both were caught in the bomb blast. They fused into Firestorm and due to Stein being unconscious at the time he acted as an influence and the brains behind the operation, whilst Raymond provided the brawn. This of course led to Firestorm effectively seeming to talk to himself when in fact he was conversing with the Stein element.

Anyway, he was a great character with a nicely fleshed out rogues gallery (Yeah Black Bison! You wanna make something of it?) and extremely powerful with the abililty to manipulate anything inorganic. However, he was always looked on as a rookie, even though he had the powerful mind of Stein providing direction. Interestingly, the banter often led to Raymond effectively learning from Stein, with various levels of success.

So in Justice League of America #179 he joined and saved the team. As you do.

It was some months later though when Firestorm truly shone in Justice League of America #205. Classic Green Lantern villain Hector Hammond, while trapped in his body, used his mind to recruit and manipulate a new Royal Flush Gang who then battled the Justice League until all of the heroes were in a coma. While Firestorm was also incapacitated physically, Professor Stein was able to detect Hammond and battle him in something akin to the astral plane. He demonstrated a good understanding of the Marquess of Queensbury Rules and battered the spirity Hammond into submission.

Following his rise in popularity, Firestorm began his own ongoing series (he had managed 6 issues previously) which this time ran to #100. I must admit though that I got lost somewhere around #48.

Still, it was a good run and the character was used sparingly over the years, mostly because the fused Raymond/Stein version was the first of many incarnations including a Fire Elemental. However, he did make it back into Joe Kelly and Doug Mahnke’s JLA as part of The Obsidian Age storyline and stayed until he was killed by the Shadow Thief in Identity Crisis.

While the new Firestorm, Jason Rusch, is a fun character and shows some of the same qualities of the original, it’ll always be the Raymond/Stein Firestorm that’ll have a place in my heart.

Okay, thats that out of the way. I haven’t posted for a while, and so after some recent soul searching and even the implementation of an ancient and strange mathematical calculation, I thought that I would set myself a challenge which would also get me back to posting. Taking the fact that I am now 40 and that (including today) there are 40 days until Christmas, my challen is to list 40 awesome things, one a day. These all mean something to me, and I’m sure at least one person out there will like each one (but not all) so sit back, relax and enjoy.

The Persuaders

Perhaps my favourite TV programme of all time, The Persuaders was a 70s show starring the double hander and quadruple fist of Tony Curtis and Roger Moore as rich, self made men who also happened to be detectives. Queue intrigue, exotic locations, casinos, fighting, dodgy accents, foppishness and lots and lots of bikini clad women. For a boy in his formative and pre-teen years you can see why it would be a magical world, and not a lightning bolt on the forehead in sight.

Unfortunately it only lasted on of your Earth TV seasons, but while there were only a limited number of episodes, each one was packed to the gunnels with what I can only describe as “The Good Stuff”. Add to that a cracking theme tune by the legendary John Barry and truly wonderful opening titles – detailing how both men grew up in very different social backgrounds but ultimately were able to have women swooning and the chins of hairy eastern europeans bruise their knuckles – and I would have to reclassify as “The Awesome Stuff”.

Click on the link below for the stunning, stunning titles.

Persuaders Titles

Ingredients

• 1 tbsp olive oil
• 1 large onion, finely chopped
• 450g/1lb minced lamb
• 1 tbsp plain flour
• 2 bay leaves
• 2 sprigs fresh thyme
• 1 tsp anchovy essence
• 1 small tin chopped tomatoes
• 2 tsp Worcestershire sauce
• 225ml/7 ½ fl oz chicken, beef or lamb stock
• salt and freshly ground black pepper
• 700g/1½lb potatoes
• 55ml/2fl oz milk
• 75g/3oz butter
• 1 free-range egg yolk

Method

1.  Preheat the oven to 200C/400F/Gas 6.
2.  In a large non-stick pan heat olive oil. Add the onion and cook for five minutes. 
3.  Add the mince and fry the mince until browned all over. 
4.  Add the flour and stir.
5. Add the bay leaves, thyme and the anchovy essence and stir. 
6. Add the chopped tomatoes, stock and Worcestershire sauce. 
7.  Bring the mixture to the boil, adding a pinch of salt and freshly ground black pepper and let it simmer for about 45 minutes.
8. For the mash, boil the potatoes, then drain them in a sieve and place into a clean bowl. Add the milk, butter and egg yolk, and mash together. Season with salt and freshly ground black pepper.
9. Pour the meat into an ovenproof dish and spread the mash on top, smooth over and mark with a spatula. 
10. Put the dish into the oven and cook until the surface is bubbling and golden-brown.

I built a bookcase yesterday.

I feel good about that, probably more so because it was much, much easier than previous attempts. The key, in this instance was that these shelves were not bound by any sides which of course meant that I didn’t have to twist my wrists too much or use the smallest, weakest screwdriver ever invented to be able to get into said fixing.

Now perhaps I’ve been buying the wrong kind of flat pack furniture in the past, but every one of them wanted the outer frame created first (lulling me into a false state of security) then put the internal shelving in place, wherein my lack of triple jointedness signalled my downfall.

• Malformed screws pitched at a 45 degree angle to the shelf.
• Wooden dowlings that were literally square and couldn’t fit into the round hole.
• Splits down the wood as the nail or screw splintered a non existent hole.
• Flesh and blood left as knuckles scraped against the wood grain.

The person who bought my flat years ago probably still has my dried blood inside the bedside chest of drawers I built.

It really was so simple and painless, and I think I may seek this type of configuration for all my furniture needs in the future. Not sure how viable it will be for drawers and beds, but if nothing else it probably adds some feng something or other to the room. Or perhaps thats because there won’t be any screams of profanity polluting the harmony in the room.

As a side note, I did mention to Kate that this was momentous because we didn’t fight when we built this bookcase. Of course she did explain that was probably because I did what I was told.

I now believe I have a foolproof formula for building flatpack furniture.

Interesting. He’s scared of the hot silhouette, but okay to have the old crone hold the door open? Maybe its the silhouette’s puffy shoulder pads. That would do it for me.

Nice to see Superboy Whine way back when. Wuss.

So, they key that this all hinges on, is that Thor is talking at the same time or before the wolf makes his aarrrrrrhh sound and… oh what the hell, its Black Bison crossing over to the Marvel Universe and bringing Wildcat’s son. Hail Geekery!

I have to say, Marvel titles in the 70s were much better. And how about “I spent Midnight with the Monster on Bald Mountain” for a euphemism?

I like the trouser suit. It would have made a nice change to the upskirt shots the Maid of Might has been most synonymous for.

I’d like to clear up a couple of points here before we get into the nitty gritty.

Firstly, I like having a garden. Grass is nice to lie on (but I don’t) and for kids to play on (which, weather wise, they don’t), and a well kept flower enhanced border is aesthetically pleasing, especially of an evening when some meats have been grilled to perfection on the barbecue, my belly is full and I’m sitting back with my chosen alcoholic beverage enjoying the sun (again, weather wise, thats unlikely). However, I like the idea all the same.

Secondly, I hate my hedge. Its a schizophrenic beast which is half soft downiness and half raging, twisted gnarliness. It gets out of control easily and the only way to calm it is to attack it with some electric shears which have seen much better days… about 5 years ago in fact.

It is with these two facts in mind, that I have today come to the conclusion that I don’t hate gardening, I hate destroying.

My jobs in terms of our garden are simple – I never grow; I only cut, trim, rip or churn. Kate does the gardening as she tends to the flowers and weeds (itself a form of garden genocide, but on a much smaller and “greater good” beneficial scale) but I only spring into action when the grass needs to be controlled or the hedges (damn those hedges) need to be taken down a peg or two.

Not like I’d want to swap or anything, because there is no chance that I have the patience or any sort of aptitude or skill to tend to a plant or a bush. The time I spend out in the garden, laying waste to seas of grass and slicing into complex horticultural structures, is growing however and that makes me sad. Exhausted as well (not to mention pained as another twig decides to fight back and scrape a deep trench into my arm) but painfully sad because I have to give up 4 hours or so at a time to do something that I don’t like, and don’t get paid for it.

No wait, that sounds selfish. What I meant to say was that one sixth of my weekend time awake is spent not creating but decimating. Thats not fun on so many levels.

So, I’m not a gardener, I’m a taker of lives in the Green.

I desperately want that to change but the only way I see that happening will involve a chainsaw, bricks and cement.

Anyway, fear not. The staff of As-yet-Untitled Thursday have been working dilligently during this time, conducting exclusive and extensive research – often, but not exclusively, on Gulf shrimp – into the global phenomenon that is the comics crossover.

However, in the interest of teasing we’re not going to reveal all today, but rather pad out over the next few weeks. Given the topic, this approach is extremely appropriate.

Stay tooned.

Uh.. sorry. Medication time.

Now here’s a teaser. Why is it that Marvel couldn’t print this story until now (then)? Were there legal shenanigans? Was it because Thor had been healing a new face in Stadt? Had Enchantress’ gravity defying dress fallen in battle?

Yeah. Need to find this one. Seriously, I do.

There’s something neat about this cover. Why is there a cab and not a building being blown to smithereens? Thats not something you see on a day to day basis. Plus, its obviously moving, so is the cabbie toast? Where did the left front wheel go? Come on comics publishers – this is the stuff to get us interested!

To finish a tribute to Paul Levitz from Sept ’87. Good luck in your new endeavours sir.

Ingredients

• 1 boned, skinned chicken-breast half (4 oz)
• 1 Tbsp olive oil
• 1 cup chopped fresh spinach (or a couple of balls of frozen spinach defrosted for 2 minutes in the microwave)
• 1 Tbsp grated Parmesan cheese
• Salt and pepper, to taste

Method

1. Heat oven to 400°F/200°C/Gas Mark 6.
2. Heat 2 tsp oil in a medium skillet.
3. Add spinach and sauté until wilted.
4. Remove from heat
5. Stir the spinach into the parmesan cheese and add salt and pepper.
6. Cut a lengthwise pocket halfway through center of chicken breast.
7. Stuff the spinach/cheese mixture into the chicken pocket then secure with oiled wooden toothpicks.
8. Brush chicken with remaining 1 tsp oil and sprinkle with pepper.
9. Bake 20 minutes or until chicken is cooked through.
10. Remove toothpicks and serve.

I love how the dog is sniffing around Hobo-flash. We all know what he’s thinking don’t we? “How brittle must this man’s bones be to be able to run so fast?”

Peter, you’re friends are freaking out right now. Not sure if its because of the huge Spider-man behind you all waiting to give you a bear hug of death, or because you’re too self absorbed to notice.

Wasn’t there an Earth-2 Batman, or was he dead by this time? Are the Justice League sure they’re being crushed or are they just itchy? Why is Batman smiling on that left column? Why is Black Canary’s wig so poor? So many questions, but really isn’t it more fun not to know the real answers?

This explains so much don’t you think? Nice hooves.

News reaches us today of a self making bed. Yes, you read that correctly, a bed that makes itself and if you don’t believe me look at the pictures.

You see that grinning gentleman? He’s happy because he’ll never have to make his bed ever again. Ever. Again. Doesn’t that sound like a little piece of Heaven?

 Plus he can claim insurance when he breaks his shins getting in and out; his loved ones can have their mortgage paid off when a “freak” accident finds him decapitated one evening; he can then be the first person to trial a self closing coffin.

That kids, is how evolution works.

Ingredients

• 1/2 cup of  chopped  onions
• 4 x cloves garlic, chopped
• 500ml chicken or vegetable broth
• 2 tsp chili powder
• 1 x 15oz can of black beans, rinsed, liquid removed
• 2 tbsp chopped coriander
• Rice (cooked as per normal instructions)

Method

1. Spray medium saucepan with cooking spray and heat over medium heat till warm.
2. Saute/fry onion, green onions, and garlic till tender, about 5 min.
3. Add beans and cook for 2-3 minutes
4. Add chili powder
5. Add in broth to saucepan and heat to boiling.
6. Reduce heat and simmer covered until broth reduces and is absorbed
7. Stir in coriander
8. Serve over rice
9. Dress with some coriander leaves

Have you ever seen an angrier hemorrhoid? No amount of Preparation H would be able to shift that bastard.

Interesting angle. You can see the artist has a real architectural eye, picking out the twist-on-classic juxtaposition between road, pavement, buildings and 10 foot high heeled black pvc boot. Inspiring.

Ignoring the obvious narcissistic sexual connotations, because those are beneath us of course, could this be Arthur and Arthur trying their costume as King of Hearts? Nah, its definitely narcissistic and sexual in nature.

Pint Sized X-Babies 1. How can you walk past these cuties on the stand? Is your heart made of stone?

If you can’t find cod, or are concerned about overfishing, then any other meaty white fish should do.

Ingredients

• 1 lemon, quartered
• 4 pieces prime skinless cod portions, each weighing about 125g
• 3 fresh lemon thyme sprigs
• Salt and cracked black pepper
• 2-3tbsp Extra Virgin Olive Oil
• 2 x 410g cans chickpeas, drained
• 2 garlic cloves, crushed
• 2 tsp ground cumin

Method

1. Preheat the oven to 220°C, gas mark 7.
2. Place the cod fillets in a roasting tin.
3. Squeeze the juice from the lemon quarters, and reserve.
4. Put the lemon quarters into the tin with the fish and thyme, then sprinkle with salt, pepper and a drizzle of oil.
5. Roast for 10-15 minutes on the top shelf or until the fish is cooked.
6. Place the chickpeas in a food processor with the reserved lemon juice, the garlic, cumin, some seasoning and the remaining olive oil.
7. Process for a few seconds so the mash still has some texture.
8. Heat the mash in the microwave on full power for 1-2 minutes.
9. Spoon on to warmed plates, top with a piece of fish and drizzle over a little oil.

Recipe from Waitrose

The Funfair Ride Yesterday

A Pennsylvania woman is set to marry a roller coaster, named the 1001 Nachts. She rides the machine 300 times a year and uses pictures of it to satisfy herself at home. And apparently this isn’t uncommon, and relates to mechaphilia which has been described as “the sexual attraction to inanimate objects”. Often that description is followed by “such as cars, machines and robots”. Interesting and how many of us can say we’ve never been attracted to robots eh?

Eh?

Hello?

I wonder if he would have done this if Lex was the boss at the time? You also have to wonder, if you are President of the United States, would you trust a guy who came and said “If I go mad and endanger the world…” or might you think he had already got there and not trust him? Perhaps you might want to test it out or use the hand Kryptonite bullet that you have in your top drawer. Either way, you would ensure that Lois stayed under the desk just in case.

Don’t worry DD, they’ll dig it up in a million years and use super CSI technology to figure out who did it. Of course they won’t be able to arrest the Woolly Mammoth gang because they’ll be long dead. Still, they can wrap up the case quite easily and then get blind drunk.

It occurs that Superman related covers appear here more often than not. I think thats got to be because they are the most interesting looking, don’t you think?

This one of course has him naked in a capsule of some sort, about to be blasted to his death. Of course, that happens pretty regularly so my focus is on why the hell his costume is such a big deal and moreover why there are so many balding 50 something men bidding on it? You know as well as I do, if this happened right now, there would be 40,000 slavering fanboys who would be pushing to the front of the queue to get their hands on the Big S’ kit. Still, thats the 70s for ya.

So many mysteries to be solved here. What is going on with that mailbox? Why the upskirt shot on the statue? What in Sam Hill is an Abscam? Is it the 80s equivalent of Nigerian emails?

Truly this was a Bizarre comic as it included the X-Men. How odd. Also, first time I’ve seen Iceman portrayed as see through.

Did the entire issue have the Titans as puppets wandering about knocking into things, moving in very deliberate and slow ways? Or did Kori just wish Dick could be more like Pinocchio?

Included here because I am extremely excited by the fact that DC are releasing a Showcase volume of the first 25 issues in October. Hot damn, I am excited and if anyone out there would like to buy me it in time for my birthday then please go ahead.

Gail Simone and Neil Googe gave us their vision of the Superhero in retirement with Welcome to Tranquility, but what of our more iconic heroes? How will Superman, Hulk, Wonder Woman and Captain America fare as they slip closer to decrepitude?

The answers came thick and fast today as I Googled for something a little different, and found some caricatures of aged heroes by Donald Soffritti. Of course being my organised self I lost the link, so when I googled again I found a blog piece about an exhibition in France (Vraoum a la Maison Rouge) which featured a photographic representation of superhero retirement.

Here are both in all their glory with links to artist (there’s a book as well called Decadence which I’m trying to find) and the exhibition. Enjoy, and while you’re at it, perhaps now’s the time to think of your own pension. You’ll need something special tucked away* so you never end up like these poor saps.

Vraoum a la Maison Rouge

Donald Soffritti’s Blog

*Perhaps a gun.

I’m not sure if I’m concerned that so many books this month 21 years ago seem so fetishised, or that I think they are. Probably won’t spend too much time analysing that.

Everyone knows that Galactus did something funky to tie the Silver Surfer to the Earth when he disobeyed him. What you don’t know is that they struck a deal and Norrin was once more given the freedom to cruise the stars but only if he picked up exotic alien women and let his master watch.

Loving the chainmail variation there, especially with the dinky anklet. However, would it have killed this obviously world conquering “mistress” to wear some heels with it?

Yes he’s in some sort of phantom state (I can’t quite remember how Strange’s powers work, other than they are not normal – hence Strange) but does his floatiness require that sort of hand posing or has he been caught short mid epic battle and found that someone has fogotten to stock up on paper towels? Enquiring minds need to know.

Described by some as the wonderbra for men, and by others as man SPANX, Ript is basically a tight t-shirt which is designed to hold in the bad stuff and promote the good – but fake – stuff.

Can anyone say “Eat Less and Exercise”?

In saying that, I know what I want for Christmas. However, I want it blue with a big red S on the front.

http://www.riptfusion.com/

Ingredients

• 1lb of ground turkey
• 1/3 cup Italian dressing
• 1/4 cup ketchup or barbecue sauce
• 1 egg
• 1/2 cup bread crumbs – plain
• 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce

Method

1. Preheat the oven to 350F/180c.
2. Grease a loaf pan.
3. In a bowl combine all ingredients, using your hands to blend it all nicely.
4. Press into loaf pan and pat down to even it out.
5. Bake for about 1hr until the top is nicely browned.
6. Use a skewer to test that its cooked all the way through.

Serve with mashed potatoes – of course.

Life is a lottery huh? Or in this case death is a lottery.

Which makes me think about fate, and then I slap myself about the head a bit because the next step is astrology, tarot and chicken bones.

My initial musing on this was how horrific it was to use something as traditionally closed as a funeral for publicity or potentially to generate cash (because lets face it, a lot of people are making money out of this), but I sort of look like it as a form of controlled pilgrimage; not that limiting the numbers is going to stop millions from attending.

We’ve always had choices in our lives, but when did the element of chance become so prevalent? Competitions aren’t even competitions any more – “No purchase necessary” – but they’re everywhere. Consumables, periodicals, websites all dangling the promise of free things by clicking on links or calling/texting numbers. Which is all fine, but where are the difficult questions that are set to test you, rather than the crapfest which is the multiple choice question:

Q: Which famous musician died last week?

A) Michael Jackson
B) Jichael Mackson

Of course making these harder would inevitably lead to less people taking part, which may end up meaning less publicity or less profit from those premium numbers (we won’t get into the TV voting cash cows in this episode folks). All adds to the sense of dumbing down really and the continual proliferation of something for nothing. Are people’s dreams being stoked or their lives being subdued? Giving someone the chance to see off their idol is one thing, dangling the hope of alleged wealth and a life of leisure is another.

In the meantime, hopefully sense will prevail and Tuesday’s event goes off without incident or injury.

I wouldn’t bet on it though.

Dear Joe,

Hope you are well. Its been a while hasn’t it?

Just a quick note to discuss my impending resurrection, or rather the cancelling thereof. I’m not best pleased with whats been going on in the past few weeks and I have to ask that you stop this train because I don’t want to come back.

Its not that I’m ungrateful for what you or the Marvel team have done for me over the years. Together we enjoyed some whizzo adventures spanning the decades, and while I still can’t walk past an ice cream parlour without feeling sick to my stomach, there were some great times. Avengers/Defenders War; Contest of Champions; Korvac; Secret  Wars.

The Nomad thing? Not so much.

I’m just having such a nice time out here in the Cayman Islands. Smuggling me out the back door was the best thing that could have happened to me, and I can sit on the endless beaches sipping virgin marys ’til the cows come home. The talent here is something else as well, and  the hardest thing I have to deal with each day is which shirt to wear or what spa treatment to take.

In any case, Bucky is doing a first class job. He’s like a breath of fresh air and looks pretty good in his shiny costume which, to be honest, almost made me want to come back as those threads are stylin’. But I digress. I don’t need to have my name and image (dying on those steps  – really, Joe? Really?) plastered all over the Times or the Poughkeepsie Examiner.  So, I’m out.

Best to you and the gang. Don’t call any more.

Regards,

Steve Rogers

FKA Captain America

PS Next time you talk to Millar, tell him I can spell.

Of course when I say notable death, its taken with the proverbial pinch of comic book salt.

However, in the case of Incredible Hulk #466 it does look as though Betty Ross Banner died. She’s been resurrected once but apparently the resurrection was a hallucination or whatever induced by Nightmare. Naughty Nightmare.

Anyway, other than Ultimate Betty no others exist. The first Betty Ross Banner died here and has never come back to my knowledge. Hmm. Maybe she’s Rulk?

This next one is a bit of a cheat. Death, emblazoned across the cover with Prysm (yes, I had to look that up) lying inside those fear inducing words with what was probably Deathstroke’s sword in her gut.

Did she die in this issue?

Did she buggery.

However, the Veil (3,500 of them) were destroyed completely this issue.

Which is a plus I suppose.

There has to be a reason for this as there are now 2 sites that focus on horrendous toilets of the world.

Virtual Travellers top hotspots

Congratulations goes to China for this extraordinary achievement in lactrinal repulsiveness. It even warrents two photos.

Located below a tiny truckers guesthouse in some unnamed village in central China, having aquired the key you entered through horrifying curtains of cobwebs like an Indiana Jones movie. The foot blocks can be seen and its simply a matter of squating down and thinking of England and not the spiders above your head.

Making the Base

To make the base we’ll use the one from the Banoffee Pie Recipe.

Ingredients

• One packet of McVities Chocolate Hob-Nobs (or similar-digestives will do)
• 2 tablespoons margarine (or butter)

Method

1. Crush the biscuits in a freezer bag with a rolling pin until they are reduced to crumbs.
2. Gently heat some margarine in a saucepan until liquid (or just leave some out at room temperature to soften).
3. Pour crumbs and liquid/soft margarine and mix in with the crumbs until they start to bind together.
4. Transfer the biscuit crumbs to a round dish (a large Pyrex dish is good) and pat with a spoon so that they cover the base.
5. Place in the fridge to set.

For the cheesecake filling:

Ingredients

• 1/2 pounds cream cheese (5 8-ounce packages)
• 1 3/4 cups granulated sugar
• 3 tablespoons all-purpose flour, optional
• 1 teaspoon grated lemon zest
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla
• 5 large eggs
• 2 large egg yolks
• 1/2 cup heavy cream
• 1 tablespoon of honey (optional)

Method

1. Preheat oven to 500 degrees F. Have all ingredients at room temperature.
2. Lightly grease a 9-inch springform pan
3. With an electric whisk or mixer, beat the cream cheese in a large bowl until creamy
4. Gradually add the sugar and flour; beat until smooth and creamy, scraping the beaters and sides of bowl, about 1 to 2 minutes.
5. Beat in the vanilla
6. Beat in the eggs and yolks one at a time, just until incorporated, scraping the sides of the bowl and the beaters after each addition.
7. On low speed, beat in the cream.
8. Add the honey and beat if desired
9. Scrape the batter into the crust and smooth the top.
10. Bake for 15 minutes at 500 degrees.
11. Reduce the oven temperature to 200 F and bake for 1 hour more.
12. Turn the oven off, prop the oven door open. Let the cake cool in oven for 30 minutes.
13. Remove to a rack and let cool completely in the pan before unmolding.
14. Cover and refrigerate for at least 6 hours, preferably 24 hours before serving.

< 

Ah, June 1981. Major League Baseball goes on strike; the Iranian president is deposed and we the first recognised case of AIDs is revealed. More importantly, 3 Marvel Superheroes could be about to bite the big one thanks to the rambunctuous Ringmaster and his Circus of Crime. It looks as though some sort of human canonball has targetted The Thing; a firebreather looks to be set to melt Iceman and Giant Man is going to be driven to dizzy distraction by a clown on a unicycle.  Things don’t look good for Bill Foster, especially when he’s not really named as part of the Two-In-One team up.

However, thanks to history, we know he survives this battle. Unfortunately only to be taken out by the most ridiculously named character * in the history of ridiculously named characters, Clor in Civil War.

* Save for Rulk

<

Don’t worry readers. Zatanna found them down the back of the sofa.

*shudder*

Psychoville is a new black comedy mystery created by Steve Pemberton and Reece Sheersmith (one half of The League of Gentlemen). 5 characters based throughout the UK are sent a mysterious letter from a master blackmailer. What secrets do they hold and what does the blackmailer want from them?

Currently on the BBC, the show got into its stride straight away introducing the major players and giving hints to their dark and sad pasts. Shearsmith and Pemberton have created another group of grotesque characters and this time they are aided by solid performances by Dawn French and Jason Tompkins.

To add to the fun, there is a viral promotion which kicked off a few weeks ago and seems to be continuing throughout the run – check out the inbox on the Experience area which gives you clues to solve and websites to visit. Remember to turn up the volume on your machine to get the full effect. Heh.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/psychoville/

So, who is the new Batgirl going to be? Here are the latest betting odds ahead of the reveal some time around issue #4 of the new series.

Barbara Gordon:  Fan favorite but unless there is some sprinkling of deus ex machina pixie dust, unlikely.  10/1

Cassandra Cain:  A bit screwed up by Deathstroke and unlikely to spend much time caressing her yellow boots when putting them on. Seriously. 7/1

Helena Bertinelli : She was Batgirl at one time although actually pretended to be Batman. She doesn’t need the hassle. 50/1

Stephanie Brown: Spoiler. Robin. Spoiler. Dead, but actually hidden by the woman who pretended she let her die. Or something. A good outside bet. 13/1

Kate Kane: Batwoman now and awesome. Don’t mess. 1000/1

Selina Kyle: Catwoman and loving it. Doesn’t need another identity. 1000/1

WendyKutter: Well, didn’t look to healthy at the end of the Oracle miniseries but the paralysis could very likely be temprorary. Would go down like a cup of cold sick with fandom. Shoe-in. 4/7

Misfit: Uh, no. So it probably will be. Evens

Dr Leslie Thompkins:  Yeah. Perhaps she teams up with Aunt May and they rotate the cowl. 1,000,000/1

Jason Todd: An outsider, but perhaps when he fell off that train he had such horrific injuries that he had to have extensive plastic surgery, including gender reassignment. Yeah, that would really screw with Dick Grayson now wouldn’t it? 40/1

Whoever is under the spandex, and whether they have a mouth cut into their mask or not, DC will keep teasing us for quite some time to come. And there may be some time to change their mind, so how about helping me campaign for Jason Todd? Hmmm? Anyone? 

As if the cover wasn’t enough to draw me into buying this book, the plot has me positively gagging to pick up a back issue or give up comics altogether. I’m not really too sure how I feel about anything now:

For the first several pages, She-Hulk is skipping rope, apparently naked. Jen complains that a respected superhero and lawyer is being reduced to this due to a simple joke she made in the letters column.

Jen goes to pick Weezi up at the airport, but is surprised to find that Weezi had put on weight since last they met. As they fly home in Jen’s car, Weezi tells her that she has always had a bit of a weight problem. Back when she was the Blonde Phantom, she always got enough exercise to keep the pounds off, but after she retired she stopped watching her figure.

Suddenly Jen loses control of the steering! The car flies straight up into space! Weezi says that she thought Jen’s car was only capable of one trip through space, and it already had it! Jen says that’s right, but that doesn’t seem to be stopping the car from flying into space!

Umm, yeah. I think if I had bought it, I would have run right back to the shop and got hold of this.

Ah, much better. I feel much calmer now.

Rebecca - Jewish American Girl

Meet Julie and Ivy: Creative 70s Girls

http://store.americangirl.com/agshop/static/dolls.jsf/uniqueId/2/nodeId/11/webMenuId/5/sName/Dolls

The main tip is time; you need to make time for this dish. It doesn’t take long, but you need to concentrate and follow the basic rules and at the end of it, you will be rewarded. The whole prep and cooking is 30-40 minutes, so its not like you’re going to have to stand over the pan for 2-3 hours, but a little committment will go a long way.

Getting down to the nitty gritty, the key to great risotto is measuring and controlling the addition of the liquids; specifically the stock which flavours the dish and helps to create that wonderful, creamy texture. Add a little at a time and stir in until it is all absorbed, then add some more and stir in until that is absorbed. Rinse/repeat. Stirring breaks down the starch in the rice which is then released into, and absorbed by the rice which makes the creamy goodness.

One extra bit of advice is buy the right rice. In the main it is easy as the packets are usually labelled Risotto rice, but if not look for Arborio or Carnaroli – both give a creamy texture, the former with a stickiness and the latter with more bite.

The recipe below is the simplest that I make regularly – adding peas gives you some of that 5-a-day vegetable goodness but still retains the ease of preparation. Adding other veg earlier in the process (ie cubed carrots; diced peppers; chopped asparagus tips) or seafood can make you look like a chef of the highest order. Mushroom risotto can be extremely delicious – buy some dried shitakes and you can use them to make stock to really infuse the mushroom flavour into the risotto.

 Ingredients

• a knob of butter
• one onion chopped finely
• 300g risotto rice
• 125ml of white wine
• 1 litre of hot chicken or vegetable stock
• 50-100g peas (frozen)
• shaved/grated parmesan cheese

Method

1. Heat the butter in the pan over a low heat
2. Add the onion and sweat until soft
3. Turn up the heat to medium and add the rice, stirring for a few minutes until all grains are coated
4. Add the wine and stir in until it is all absorbed
5. Add a ladle of stock and stir gently until it is absorbed
6. Continue adding stock a ladle at a time and stir until absorbed before adding the next – about 18-20 minutes in total
7. Add the peas towards the end and stir – again there will be liquid to absorb
8. Taste the risotto – the rice should be creamy but with a little bite
9. Remove from the heat and add the shaved parmesan
10. Serve immediately in flat plates to show off dish

Up Next: Baked cheesecake

So in an attempt to put all of the other rubbish behind me, I’ve picked a discussion topic which is always close to my heart – the corporate challenge.

I may be alone in this, but I hate the word now. Absolutely despise it. If someone says to me “The challenge is” or “My challenge to you is” or “Ah, thats the challenge” I really do feel a rage building up inside of me.

Let me explain.

When I joined my current organisation, I liked the word challenge. I would use it on occassion, and especially at interviews – “I’m looking for a new challenge”; “While I like my job, it is not a challenge any more” etc, etc. Sometimes challenge and I would meet up at the weekend, when I had to do some decorating or take on another difficult crossword. Challenge and I saw each other quite regularly, but not exclusively.

However, shortly after joining my current workplace, I realised how quickly challenge can turn. Sitting in one meeting and being given one challenge wasn’t that rare to me, but two, sometimes three mentions of different challenges in a single meeting…. that was new territory.

Still, I was out to impress and donning my metaphorical sword, shield and sandals (quite fetching with a bottle opener on the sole) I slew each challenge with the requisite swiftness, with an eye on quality and risk. Afterwards, once the olive oil was metaphoricaly washed off my torso with a nice bath, I proudly took the hydra’s heads to my boss and dumped them on his desk. Of course, being a hydra, more heads/challenges would grow. And grow. And grow.

Challenge was used so frequently that I soon realised that it wasn’t as powerful as I had once thought, and in fact it was just an impotent word used to try and convey importance in the heat of the moment.

So now challenge makes me feel sick. Occassionally I look back on our heyday together and remember the good times, but the images quickly turn from summer days relaxing in the sun with a tuna cheese half-and-half to venomous exchanges and recriminations late at night over Skype.

Sometimes, I do miss the old challenge.

Why, make a pitch to DC Comics to take over the writing duties of course.

At this point in our proceedings, I’ll quite happily give you a few minutes to fully digest this statement and enjoy the hearty laugh which you no doubt are in the midst of enjoying. No rush. I’ve got time. Hear, have a look at this lovely cover by Ed McGuinness.

Wasn’t that nice?

So, I’m halfway through the manifesto and hope to publish this next week. It is not the most mightiest of tomes,  but I think it adequately captures what I’m trying to achieve and demonstrates a clear vision for where I want to take the Justice League. 

Don’t touch that dial!

Almost 3 years ago, Yourmomsbasement brought you a controversial view of the truth behind Marvel’s comic book solicitations. This scathing insight can be found here true believer: http://www.yourmomsbasement.com/archives/2005/05/the_truth_about_1.html

Obviously we took some time to finish basking in the glory of our Webshite Award ^TM nomination, but (although we’ve tried) we can’t rest on our laurels for too long, so we have decided to revisit old ground and put a twist on it to lead to future glory. Look on it as polishing a turd if you will.

This time around, we have been researching into the actual meaning of some of the most common solicitation copy. These can influence your buying habits; with a few words you can be enraptured and drop major bank on product which may not deliver on its promise. In today’s economic climate we know your comics dollar, pound, euro and shekel is important, so to this end we have created this article to help you, the reader, to make an informed choice.